ÉTAPE 04 / 06 · 15–20 min, excluding video
Talking about it and protecting your boundaries
Choosing the words, the person and the moment.
Prepare a conversation that respects your choice to tell your story or keep some things private.
Sharing is a choice
You may want to be heard and fear being judged. You can begin with a small part of the story, or simply its current effects. You can also choose not to tell it for now. No public sharing is needed to take this course.
Choose someone who can listen without immediately trying to explain, persuade or draw a conclusion. You can ask whether they have the necessary time and attention before you begin.
Expressing what you hope for
A concrete request helps open the conversation: “I'd like to talk to you about something important. For now, what I need most is for you to listen without trying to explain it. Is this a good time?”
A boundary can be just as simple: “I'd prefer to keep that part to myself,” “I don't want to debate my beliefs today,” or “I'd like to stop here.” Prepare your own phrases in your own way of speaking.
When the other person does not understand
An awkward reaction can hurt. It does not oblige you to give more details or convince the person. You can clarify your request, change the subject or find someone else to talk to.
If you are a loved one, ask: “What would you like me to understand?” and “What would help you now?” Welcoming an account does not require accepting every explanation that accompanies it. Also respect the choice not to talk about it.
ANOTHER PERSPECTIVE · OPTIONAL
Watch with your own perspective.
Témoignage · Français
Finding words to talk about it
Jean-Pierre Jourdan · 1:18:31–1:20:46 · 2 min 15
Original video title
Near-Death Experience — Marie de SOLEMNE 2015
The chapter “Overcoming taboos” opens a reflection on speaking after an NDE. This is an individual account, not an instruction to share your experience.
Listen for: What conditions would help you speak freely, if you wish?
You can complete this step without video. The selection is based on published descriptions and chapters. Spoken video content has not been reviewed in full. Statements remain those of the speakers.
FROM THE TEXT TO YOUR LIFE · OPTIONAL
Preparing a conversation
You can do this exercise without deciding to talk right away.
- Choose a person and a setting that seem appropriate to you.
- Write in one sentence what you wish to share.
- Add what you hope for: listening, practical help or simply company.
- Prepare a sentence to end the conversation if needed.
YOUR NOTEBOOK
A few words for yourself.
One question, a few words or no writing at all is enough. Your answers are neither submitted nor saved. Export them before changing pages if you wish to keep them. You can also write in your own notebook.
I choose what I share, with whom, and how far I go.
TO TAKE WITH YOU
Sources and guidance
- IANDS · Sharing with someone you trust (in English) (new tab)
Guidance from an association to reflect on whom to talk to and under what conditions.
A personal marker, without assessment or score.