An experience may seem deeply clear within, while the first account remains hesitant. Language asks for places, chronology and comparisons; memory does not necessarily present itself that way.
You do not have to produce a definitive version for your words to have value. An account can remain partial, change shape or keep certain passages silent.
Describe before explaining
Try separating what you remember from what you think about it today. “I had the impression of perceiving the room” describes a memory; “this means that…” already offers an interpretation. Both can have their place, provided their difference is recognized.
You can keep the uncertainties: an unknown duration, a sensation without an image, two elements whose order escapes you. Leaving a gap is sometimes more faithful than filling it. An account does not have to be smooth to be understandable.
Welcoming the memory's power
The study by Marie Thonnard and colleagues describes NDE memories reported as particularly rich in sensory and emotional characteristics. It concerns how these memories are experienced; it does not verify every external perception. [1]
You can convey this power without asking the listener to reach a conclusion for you. You can describe what left a mark, what remains hard to name and what you wish them to understand about your life today.
Your account can keep its gaps and remain deeply true to you.
Choosing a medium that leaves breathing room
A few words in a notebook, a drawing, a voice note or a conversation may suit you better than a long text. You can start with a single fragment and then decide whether you wish to continue.
To keep a record, you might distinguish notes made close to the event from more recent reflections. The aim is not to control your memory, but to be able to retrace your own journey. Keep these documents somewhere you control access to.
Deciding what can be shared
IANDS invites people to consider trust, the listener's patience and respect for confidentiality before sharing, among other things. These guideposts can help you choose a setting that suits you. [2]
Writing does not commit you to publishing. You can ask for an account to remain private, remove a detail or keep a version for yourself. Before sending anything, take time to check who will receive your words and in what context they may be used.
EXPLORE FURTHER
Sources & further reading
- Characteristics of NDE memories (new tab)
Marie Thonnard and colleagues · PLOS ONE · a study of the reported characteristics of these memories, in English.
- Talking about your experience with someone you trust (new tab)
IANDS · guidance on choosing someone to talk to and protecting confidentiality, in English.
An editorial reflection: personal accounts, their interpretations and research findings each retain their own place.
